tl;dr I’m coming back to blogging. I will not be an anime blog. I’m going to blog about whatever I feel like.
So originally this was going to be a post to confirm that Black and Blue Socks was dead. I was content just leaving the blog untouched, and hoping that people would be smart enough to figure it out, although judging by the comments I get on my old stuff, people aren’t. But then I thought about it. I miss writing. It was something I was really passionate about. Now I don’t want to make it my career. I have a career which I am also very passionate about about. But writing has always been important to me. When I was little I always told people I wanted to be a writer, so it’s always been a point of interest for me.
So what happened exactly? Well it’s a long story.
When I stopped blogging, my mental state was terrible. In the pits. I don’t know if I told this on my blog or not, but I was diagnosed at bipolar. Which was not surprising considering I’d have times where I’d post like crazy and then times when I was too depressed to function and didn’t post. Looking on back on the person I was before I started medication for the bipolar, I was a mentally unstable horrible person, and I hurt a lot of people and did a lot of bad things which I’m honestly sorry for. And what sucks is most of those people will probably never know it. Now that I’m on medication, I feel a lot better although I still have maniac episodes and depressive episodes.
Well after being diagnosed as bipolar, I took some time to become stable but then I started sleeping. All the time. I would sleep 18 hours a day. It took forever to get a doctor to believe something was wrong, and it turned out what was wrong was my thyroid. My thyroid was under performing which caused me to have tons of health problems and no energy. Unfortunately a thyroid is something you can’t fix instantly, It’s a slow process to get a thyroid working again.
Inbetween this all, I did not finish getting my college education. All I have is my high school degree, although I did go to school to become a pharmacy tech and got my certification. I landed a full time job in the field and really love my job. I don’t feel comfortable giving many details about where I work, but it’s a good environment, it’s very intellectually stimulating and the people I work with are great. So even though I didn’t become a librarian like I dreamed, I am happy with what I do.
I just didn’t come back to blogging because by the point I went through all that, I was so far behind in anime, I didn’t know who was in the anime community anymore and it’s just felt kinda silly coming back. I also felt so depressed about my writing. It all felt like it had all been shit and drama anyway, and I just didn’t want that. Which wasn’t true, there was a lot of good for me in the blogging, I just couldn’t see it at the time.
I’ve also changed since last time I blogged. I don’t watch nearly as much anime. If you look at my anime list, you can see how dated I am. There have been some more recent animes I’ve watched. And my more recent, the most recent thing I’ve watch is Fate/Stay Night: Unlimited Blade Works. Which I’m so glad is going to start again soon.
A big problem that I have with anime is that I don’t relate to it the same way I use to. I’m 23. Their problems are not my problems they way they were when I was 17, 18 and 19. I consume a lot of different media now, I watch a lot of movies when I’m at home. I have a hour drive to work so I listen to a lot of audiobooks and NPR. I’m going to write about the media I’m consuming. Except NPR. When I find an anime I like, I will watch it. It just not the same as it use to be.
Basically, I’m going to write. If people want to read, that’s okay by me. If they don’t read, I’m going to write anyway.
Also Nonnon is my waifu.