Self-Confidence is a strange thing. Everything has been going really well in college, I’m getting good grades, been super involved, making friends, maintaining my “secret” otaku lifestyle (everyone knows I’m one, just not to what extent) and feeling like a super women.
And then Tuesday hit. What started as a small pain in my spine became a full-blown migraine. The next day, I’d run out of immitrex, and it was still going strong. I had to go to the ER.
A little background on me. It’s been finally discover that I’m Vitamin D deficient. For whatever reason, I only absorb a small percentage of the Vitamin D I consume. It causes many health problems, including a weak immune system. Also, it causes severe migraines, and fibromyalgia symptoms.
I was in and out of the ER really quickly, but the painkillers they gave me knocked me out of commission until Friday evening. It’s better then earlier, but I still feel a little weak.
And suddenly, I’m not so confident. I have one of my health issues flaring up again and interfering with my ability to function for three days brings up a lot of concerns. Am I doing too much? Is this just a one time thing, or sign of an oncoming problem? I’m really worried that I’ll be too ill to be involved on the campus as much, and that is one thing I don’t want to give up.
But I don’t feel like the confident adult that I felt I was at the beginning of the week. Now I’m just a scared little girl who’s scared she’s not going to make it in the real world.